What I Wish I’d Said Because I’m No Lady!

What I Wish I’d Said Because I’m No Lady!

A lady is an uptight, suburban, church-going bitch who thinks I might be dangerous. And you’re calling me a lady? A lady is hairspray and perfume shuffling down the Campbell soup aisle of the local King Soopers. Do I look like a lady to you? A lady eats salad with the proper fork and never all of it because she can’t imagine what cucumbers might do to her girlish figure. Have you seen me eat? A lady speaks softly. “Excuse...

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Why “Lady” is Not a Nice Word

Why “Lady” is Not a Nice Word

An older friend, retired now, signed-up to volunteer for a charity that required a half-day of sensitivity training. Next day, he took me aside. “What’s wrong with the word ‘lady?’ My mother would have slapped me up-side my head if I didn’t show a woman proper respect.” I tried to explain that to be a lady a woman is expected to conduct her life in a ladylike manner, following rules she didn’t...

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My Mother and My Middle Finger

My Mother and My Middle Finger

I gave my middle finger to a particularly deserving driver and my mother (sitting in the passenger seat) about had a heart attack. Her generation valued “being a lady.” Mine decided “ladies” don’t get noticed/make history/climb the corporate ladder/etc. etc. . . . you get the idea. As a child, I was not supposed to be dramatic. Drama was for others with fewer manners. That was usually phrased as “a less...

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